Death
by MaryRussellgrl
Summary: Sara's fiancé Cole has died and now it's up to someone to help her pick up the pieces. (The first chapter is sad, but it will get better I promise.)
1. Chapter 1

I cried shaking as it rained down on me. The blanket wrapped around my chilled body was not comforting as I looked over at the police lights flickering in the darkness. Cops stood by as they looked around near the mangled wreckage that contained my fiancé Cole. Firefighters cut into the car metal to get to him.

"Sara?" Grissom called, as he appeared holding an umbrella. He looked like he had just woken up. His dark eyes showed concern as he touched my covered arm. "Sara, I came to take you home."

I shook my head staring at the activity around the car.

"You need to come now." He said

"Not until…they get…him out." I said

Grissom looked over at the car then at me. He moved putting an arm around my back.

"Honey, come with me."

I looked at him with large eyes. He pulled me forwards to his car. I got in still watching ahead as he came in shutting the door. We both sat in silence then he spoke.

"Sara, I talked to Brass and he said that Cole died instantly." He said, looking at me. "He's gone."

I looked at him as he reached over to grasp my shaking hand.

"I'm sorry."

"You're wrong. They are getting him out and he will go to the hospital. He'll be okay!"

"No, he won't." Grissom said

I glared at him before getting out in the rain dropping the blanket on the ground running over in time to see them lowering Cole on a stretcher. Grissom ran over grabbing my arms trying to pull me away.

"No, leave me alone!" I said, getting free running over stopping as I reached the stretcher.

I felt a sob come from me as I looked at the grisly sight before me. Blood covered his body making me feel sick. I slowly took his limp hand raising it to my lips.

"Cole, it's me. Please….wake up!"

Brass walked over sadly watching the scene near Grissom.

"Cole!" I shouted, shaking him.

Grissom caught me as I started to fall sobbing hysterically as Brass motioned them to put the blanket over the body. Grissom picked me up taking me to his car again. He drove to his place carrying me to his front door. Once inside he lowered me on the couch looking at my wet clothes as I shook looking down.

"I'll get you some clothes." He said

He went leaving me. I looked at the diamond ring on my hand. Closing my eyes I felt my heart throb. Grissom came out with some folded clothes and a large towel. He gently stood me up taking me to his bathroom.

"Sara, do you want me to help you?" He asked

I slowly nodded looking down. He looked at me reaching for my shirt. I raised my arms as he lifted the shirt off my body. He put the towel around my shoulders. I felt my pants being taken off. Without thinking I let him take them off leaving me in my underwear. He rubbed my towel covered body trying to soak up as much water as he could. He had me sit on the toilet seat as he started some hot water in the bathtub. Kneeling down he took my socks off rubbing warmth into my feet. After that he left to give me some privacy. I slid into the tub closing my eyes feeling the bubbles surround me.

Grissom made coffee then he prepared something to eat. I heard a knock later as I opened my eyes.

"Sara, are you okay?" He asked

I didn't answer as I sat up looking at the disappearing bubbles.

"Sara?" He called, knocking gently.

I heard the door open and he sat on the toilet seat looking at me with concern.

"I was worried." He said

I moved my hand over the water.

"I made you something to eat."

I looked at him with red swollen eyes. He saw the torment in them. He got a dry towel helping me out of the tub then left me to dress. I came out in a pair of his sweat pants and shirt walking slowly over to where the kitchen was. He had a grilled cheese on a plate for me on his island.

"Have a seat." He said

I slowly sat on a stool picking at the sandwich as he poured me a drink. He sat down beside me putting the glass next to the plate.

"I have the spare bed turned down for you."

He watched me take a tiny bite then stand up.

"I'd like to lay down." I said, quietly.

"Okay." He said, leading me to the spare room. "I think you'll be warm enough."

I looked at the bed as he looked at me.

"If you need me I will be next door."

I nodded watching him leave. I sat on the bed hearing him walk around in the next room.

Grissom moved in bed hearing crying coming from the other room. He got up walking to the bedroom I was in. I was curled on my side crying among the tangled sheets on the bed. Grissom turned on the lamp on the bedside table sitting down touching my back.

He rubbed my back feeling me shake. He sighed turning off the light sliding in behind me. His arms went around me.

"It's all right." He said

I moved burying my face into his chest.

"I am so sorry." He said

Hours later he woke seeing it was one. He looked at me lying beside him breathing slowly on my stomach. He reached over moving my hair from my face.

The doorbell went off and he got up closing the door. Rubbing his head he opened the door seeing Catherine standing outside looking upset.

"Hey." He said

"I brought you dounuts." She said, holding up a bag.

"Great, come in." He said, moving letting her enter. She came in looking around as he walked into the kitchen starting coffee.

"So where is Sara?" She asked, putting the bag down on the island.

"Sleeping in the spare room." He said, turning on the coffee maker.

"Brass told me how bad it was."

Grissom nodded sighing.

"It was really bad. I have never seen her so crushed."

Catherine handed him a glazed dounuts out of the bag.

"I know she really cared for him." She said

"Brass is upset to. He lost a good cop." Grissom said

Catherine nodded chewing.

"I hope they catch the other driver soon."

"Brass is hunting them down right now." Grissom said "All we know is that it was a blue car."

He poured her some coffee in a cup.

"Gil, this is one time you can help her. You lost Sophia due to an accident a year ago."

Grissom nodded still feeling a twinge when her name was spoken out loud.

"You can help her now."

They both jumped as I screamed in bed. Catherine ran in first seeing me sitting up screaming. Grissom got on the bed pulling me to him.

"Ssh, it's okay." He said

I shook breathing in and out hard. Catherine sat on the other side touching my back.

"You're safe." Grissom said

"Cole…..where is he?!" I asked

"Sara." Catherine said

I looked at her as Grissom moved back.

"You and Cole had an accident while going home. You came out with a few scratches, but Cole…..was hurt and he died."

I stared at her then at Grissom.

"Sara, do you understand?" He asked

"We were…..talking about….the shift. He said…something funny. We went through a…..green light and….then I heard a loud bang."

I looked down as Grissom moved my hair back.

"We….decided to….get married over the weekend."

Catherine looked at Grissom sadly as he looked at her.

"Why don't I get you some coffee?" Catherine said, getting up.

"Give us a minute." Grissom said

She nodded before leaving.

Grissom silently watched me hold my head with my hand.

"Sara, look at me."

I raised my head looking at him.

"I will have to go into the office. I want you to stay here and rest."

"I should go home." I said "I want to see him."

"No, I don't want you to do that just now."

I watched him stand leaning over pushing me down gently. He covered me touching my cheek then he walked out closing the door. Catherine stood by the door looking at him.

"She'll sleep soon." He said

"Want me to stay?"

"No, I need to go in then I will come back and be with her." He said

"Why don't you stay? I can take care of things."

"I need to talk to Brass." He said

"Okay."

Grissom and Catherine left and I laid in bed staring at the ceiling. I got up dressing in my dry clothes taking a cab to the lab. Doc. Robbins was writing at his desk when I walked in looking pale and drawn. He looked at me as I looked around the room.

"Sara, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see Cole."

He stood walking over.

"I don't think that is a good idea."

"I just want to see him." I asked

He watched me a moment before walking to one to the freezer doors opening it he pulled out a table with a body bag. I walked over as he watched me from the other side. Swallowing I reached over unzipping the bag opening it to see Cole all cleaned up and severely bruised with a large gash on his head.

"He didn't suffer." The doctor said

I nodded looking at Cole. Robbins walked away to his desk grabbing his phone. I reached down touching Cole's cold cheek.

Grissom walked in seeing Robbins motioning at me. He sighed walking over to where I stood.

"Sara, I told you to rest." He said, standing where Robbins stood.

"I had to come and see him." I said

"This is not good for you." He said

I looked down at Cole as Grissom looked at him then at me.

"Let's go." He said

"No!" I said

"Sara, you need to leave now!"

"I want to be here!" I said

He came around grabbing my arm pulling me away.

"No….please let me stay!"

Grissom said nothing as he pulled me out of the room. He let me go standing in front of the doors. I tried to get past him, but he stood firm. I backed up feeling tears go down my cheeks.

"I need to be with him!"

"Sara, you have just had a major trauma. We don't need to cause you more pain."

I looked at the door then at him. He watched me come closer putting my head against his shoulder. He put his arms around me.

The funeral was planned by his family a week later. I stood near the priest only half listening as I looked at the oak casket with a big bouquet of red roses over it. Grissom glanced at me standing beside him then he looked at the priest.

At the end his mother walked over hugging me then she walked away. I looked at the casket then I felt Grissom's hand.

"Sara, it's time to leave."

I slowly nodded letting him lead me away. The small gathering at Cole's and my apartment was not comforting to me. I escaped not able to stand the hugs anymore. Grissom came into my bedroom seeing me sitting on the large bed.

"Everyone is asking where you are." He said, as he closed the door.

"I can't go back out there." I said

He sighed walking over sitting beside me.

"You must be tired." He said

"It's just hard to be hugged and told how wonderful he was. I knew he was wonderful."

"He was a good man." He said

I nodded looking around the room.

"I can still feel him in here."

"I felt like that with Sophia." He said

I looked at him as he looked around.

"You miss her."

"I do, but I have decided to move on. I did love her, but I can't let myself shut down."

I got up walking around the bed looking out the window. Grissom walked over standing beside me.

"The day it happened was one of the worst days of my life. I struggled for weeks to get back on track. When I came home after work I would look around seeing things that reminded me of her."

I touched his hand and he looked at me. Without thinking I came closer kissing him on the lips. He didn't move as I moved my hands to his hair and cheek slowly moving my lips against his. He put his hands onto my waist tilting his head. Our breathing changed as the kiss intensified.

Grissom moved back breathing hard.

"Sara…..you're…vulnerable."

I reached down unbuttoning his shirt.

"We…need to….stop." He said, stopping me.

I stared into his eyes.

"You….don't…want to?"

"I….do, but…this…is wrong."

I stepped back looking down. He watched me walk to the bathroom shutting the door. He sighed buttoning his shirt then he walked over to the bathroom door.

"Sara, please come out."

"Leave me alone!" I said

He sighed putting his head against the door. I sat down on the side of the bathtub looking at myself in the mirror. Grissom walked out seeing Catherine talking to Nick in the corner. He signaled her over.

"Hey, what's up?" She asked

"Will you go in and talk to Sara?"

"Okay, where is she?"

"Bathroom."

Catherine touched his arm before going into the bedroom. She knocked then opened the door slowly seeing me still sitting.

"Hey." She said "Mind if I join you?"

"No." I said

She sat on the toilet seat.

"It's to crowded out there."

"Did Grissom ask you to come in here?"

"He asked me to check in on you."

I nodded looking down.

"So how's everything going?"

"I don't know."

"That's normal." She said

"I….kissed Grissom."

She looked at me in surprise.

"How was it?"

"Bad, he rejected me."

"That's Grissom, always the gentleman." She said "Sara, I want to tell you something."

"What?"

"Grissom, is in love with you."

I looked at her wide eyed.

"He is?"

"Very, but you need to understand that you are vulnerable and being the man that he is. Grissom does not want to ruin this by taking advantage of you."

"He…never said."

"Believe me no one knew except me. Give it some time. He will make his move, but it needs to be when he feels its right."

"You think he will?"

"I know he will."

"Okay." I said


	2. Chapter 2

I came to work a week later as promised. My heart was still heavy. Grissom asked me to come with him on a case a few hours from Vegas. He drove as I rubbed my head closing my eyes. He looked over at me at times concerned.

"So how are you?" He asked

I raised my head looking at him.

"Fine, I think."

"You sound unsure." He said

"I just have things to do."

"Like what?"

"I decided to move to a new apartment."

"Where?"

"I haven't begun to look yet. I have spent a week looking at Cole's things and it just hurts to much."

"You could put it in storage."

"His family wants his stuff. I just can't live anywhere that he lived in."

"I understand." He said

I sighed looking out at the evening sky watching the sun slowly disappearing. We stopped at the old house hours later where the police were waiting. He and I worked the scene then got back into the Tahoe driving back again. Halfway back Grissom pulled off the road parking.

"What are you doing?" I asked

"The stars are so bright and big tonight." He said, looking up.

I looked up at them then at him.

"I don't see a difference."

"Want to walk in that field?" He asked, motioning to the field up the hill in front of us.

"Are you serious?" I asked

"It will be fun."

"Grissom, ever hear of trespassing?" I asked

"We will only be a few minutes." He said, getting out.

I sighed watching him get out.

"Well being shot isn't the most painful thing in the world."

He watched me get out then he walked up the hill climbing over a fence. He took my hand as I climbed up. I slipped falling over feeling his arms catch me. He stood me up against him searching my eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I said

He reached down taking my hand in his. I took a breath as he moved back walking with me up the field. He stopped at the top looking up at the stars.

"I wish we could reach up and touch them." He said

I looked around at the woods behind us shivering some.

"Cold?" He asked

I looked at him.

"No, it's just the woods are creepy." I said

He looked back at them.

"I used to walk in the woods down from my parents' house day and night."

"That's dangerous."

"I thought it was fun." He said

I looked at him as he looked at me.

"I would play in a fort I built."

I smiled as he did.

He moved facing me touching my cheeks. He smoothed his thumbs over my cheeks searching my eyes. Time stood still then it dissolved as he recovered letting me go to stand back.

"Let's go back."

He walked past me to the car as I stood in place trembling. As he drove I sat back in my seat thinking about what Catherine said that day in the bathroom. My eyes traveled from the road to his profile. Grissom looked at the road thinking as well. He looked over at me then to the road.

"Grissom, can you pull over?" I asked

He looked at me again in concern.

"Are you sick?"

"A little." I said

He quickly pulled over stopping looking at me. I opened the door getting out walking forward. He got out walking over.

"What's wrong?" He asked

"I don't feel good." I said, stopping as I looked down.

"Have you eaten?"

I turned looking at him.

"I forget when I last did."

"Sara, you should eat."

"Can you stop talking about food?!" I asked

"Okay."

I sighed rubbing my head.

"I feel….out of sorts." I said

"Why?"

I looked down then I looked at him.

"Grissom, do you love me?"

He stared at me in silence as I waited.

"I…don't….." He said

I touched my mouth turning throwing up on the ground. He watched me fall to my knees throwing up again. He walked over kneeling down touching my back. I gagged till nothing came out, but spit. Grissom picked me up taking me to the back seat of the Tahoe laying me down. He got some water and the blanket he kept in the back. I drank a little then laid back down. He smoothed my hair back from my pale sweating face. I kept my eyes closed feeling his fingers.

He got out closing the door then he got into the driver's seat driving. I opened my eyes looking at the back of his seat feeling defeated. Grissom looked in the rearview mirror at my unmoving body. He felt responsible for my current condition.

He parked outside of the lab getting out opening the door seeing I was holding my stomach climbing out by myself. I jumped down swallowing as Grissom shut the door watching me.

"Sara, why don't I take you home?"

I shook my head looking down.

"We should…get to work." I said, standing ready to walk past him. He put his hand on my arm stopping me.

"You're not ready for that."

"Grissom, I am very capable of….working."

He moved in front of me and I leaned back against the car looking at him.

"I am not questioning your work ethic, Sara. I know you would work through a heart attack. I just think that you should eat and rest."

I closed my eyes laying my head back against the window. Grissom looked back at the building then at me.

"We can drop our evidence off then I will take you to a diner." He said

I opened my eyes looking at him slowly nodding.

"Good."

He made me get back into the car then after a few minutes he got in driving out to a diner down the street. We sat at a booth in a quiet corner looking over the menu.

"What are you going to have?" He asked

"Nothing really appeals to me." I said

"How about a sandwich?" He said

I sighed setting down my menu.

"I suppose I could eat one."

We ordered then sat in silence. Grissom glanced at me as I looked outside.

"Do you….want to talk about what happened earlier?" He asked

I shook my head looking out.

"I think we should."

I shook my head again.

He watched the waitress put our drinks in front of us. He sipped his coffee looking at me.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Nothing." I said

"We are just going to sit in silence?"

"Yes." I said

"Normally I would not mind that, but I do right now."

He watched me look down and place my engagement ring on the table. I stared at it a moment then at him.

"I haven't taken it off before." I said

"How does it feel?"

"Scary." I said

He took the ring looking at it.

"It's very pretty." He said, handing it back to me.

"When I put this on I never wanted to take it off."

He nodded taking another drink. I put it in my pocket then I put my hand on my head.

"Are you feeling sick again?" He asked

"No, I feel embarrassed."

Grissom put his cup down then he moved over to sit next to me.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Yes, I do." I said, looking at him. "Grissom, I asked you if you loved me! I saw the look on your face."

"I should apologize for that."

The waitress placed our food out on the table walking away.

"Sara, you know how difficult it is to show feelings. I am not one of those men who can be open. You just caught me off guard."

I looked at him as he looked at me.

"I'm sorry."

"Why don't we eat and we can talk after."

I nodded watching him move back over to his spot. He waited for me to eat then he ate. We came out of the diner and he opened the car door for me. I got in watching the door close then he got in on the other side. We sat in silence looking out at the diner. Grissom looked at me as I glanced at him then I looked down.

"What are you thinking?" I asked

"I was thinking I still don't know what to do."

"Oh."

"Look at me." He said, gently.

I was drawn to his eyes.

"I see everything in your eyes, Sara." He said "Your pain, heartache."

"It's hard to hide what your feeling." I said

"I can also see how tired you are."

I looked back down as he sighed. I felt him reach over touching my hand in my lap. I looked at him as he pulled my hand between our seats rubbing my fingers with his.

"Sara, I want to help you."

"How?"

"If you ever want to talk to me I want you to."

"Is that all?"

"For now, yes." He said

I slowly nodded looking outside again. He let go of my hand starting the engine pulling out without another word.

I went home an hour later looking at the things around me. Boxes were piled up next to the door with Cole's things awaiting his family. I set my keys on the kitchen counter looking at the top box. Walking over I tore the tape off the box opening it to pick up a picture of him wearing his policeman uniform smiling as he held up a plaque. I touched the picture with my finger.

I set the picture on the kitchen counter as I got a large bottle of wine out of the fridge. Pouring out a large helping in a regular glass I took the picture walking over to the couch sitting down drinking as I looked at him.

Grissom walked down the hallway the next shift dialing my number on his phone. I was late causing him concern. When he looked up putting the phone to his ear I had run in greeting the women at the front desk before turning the corner stopping as I saw Grissom putting his phone away as he walked over.

"Where were you?"

"I….slept in." I said

"You look like you have not slept all night." He said, observing me.

"I had nightmares." I said, avoiding his stare. "I better get ready."

He watched me walk past him. I joined him in a lab looking over evidence then I went into the break room taking aspirin with coffee.

Shift ended much to my relief. I walked out to my car sighing as my head throbbed still. Grissom came out with Nick talking about something.

"Hey Sara, are you coming?" Nick asked

I looked at them.

"Coming where?"

"We are all going to that diner to eat." He said "Come on."

"I really need to sleep."

"You can after." He said, walking to his car. Grissom watched me give in and get in my car. Catherine sat beside me in the diner laughing at something Warrick said. I stayed silent content to look out the window. Grissom listened to the others while watching me. He could tell by the look of me that I had a hangover.

"Sara, what do you think?" Catherine asked, prodding me.

"What?" I asked

"I asked if we should all go out on Friday for drinks." Nick said

"Oh, sure."

I watched them all share looks then begin talking again. I looked over at Grissom who still gazed at me then I quickly looked out again. The others waved at me as they went home. Grissom walked out the diner door seeing I was still standing on the sidewalk watching the cars on the street go by.

"Going home?" He asked

"Yeah." I said

"Are you going to drink?" He asked, watching me look at him.

"What?"

"You're drinking again." He said

"No I am not."

He nodded in silence using his scientist stare.

"I am not drinking."

"You have all the symptoms of a hangover."

"You're crazy." I said, walking to my car.

"Am I?" He asked, walking over to me.

"Yes, you are."

I shook my head turning, but he touched my arm causing me to turn and look at him. His hand came up touching my cheek. I closed my eyes as his hand cupped my cheek. I moved my face towards his hand.

"Sara, you can't hide from me." He said, gently.

He moved closer as I put my head against his shoulder.

"Why are you drinking?"

I shook my head against him.

"Please tell me."

I raised my head searching his eyes.

"Grissom, you need to stay away from me."

"You know I can't." He said

I looked at his lips before his eyes again.

"I am damaged. I would just end up disappointing you."

"You have never done that."

"It would not work out." I said, looking to the side.

"Why are you so eager to be alone?"

A tear went down my cheek as I looked at him.

"It just has to be that way. I have to go home."

"You're scaring me." He said

"Please leave me alone." I said

He backed up slowly still staring at me. I wiped a tear from my cheek then I turned opening my car door getting in. He watched me drive off upset.


	3. Chapter 3

Grissom came into the dance club that Friday seeing Greg holding a drink as he danced with this blonde haired girl on the dance floor. The loud music hurt his ears. He walked over to where Catherine stood watching the people dancing as she held a glass.

"Hey." He said

"Hey, glad you could make it." She said, over the music.

"What are you drinking?" He asked

"Virgin Daiquiri." She said

He nodded taking it from her to try.

"Good?" She asked

"Yeah."

She smiled taking the glass back. He looked around at the people.

"Did Sara come?"

"Yeah, she was talking to some guy across the room. I think she's dancing."

He nodded looking around seeing me at the front dancing with Nick. He could tell I was intoxicated or the beginnings of. Nick pulled me away towards Catherine and Grissom.

"Hey man, you made it!" Nick said

"Looks like you two are having fun." He said, looking at me.

"Oh yeah." Nick said, pulling me against him. I laughed putting my arms around his neck as he winked at me. "Sara, it a good dancer."

"You are." I said

"You are." He said

I laughed again putting my head against his shoulder.

"Are you ready to go home?" Catherine asked

"The night is still young!" I said

"Want to dance again?" Nick asked

"Whatever you want." I said

Nick winked at them before pulling me out again to dance.

Catherine shook her head looking at us then she looked at Grissom.

"Do you want to take Sara home?"

"What about the others?"

"They all live near me. I can take them."

Grissom nodded.

"You better take her now." Catherine said

Grissom looked around finding me dancing up against Nick. He walked over standing beside us.

"Ah Sara, I want to take you home."

I put my head against Nicks shoulder looking at him with glazed over eyes.

"Sara is coming home with me." Nick said "Aren't you?"

"Mmhmm." I said, moving kissing his neck.

"Sara, you need to come with me." Grissom said

I raised my head looking at Grissom then at Nick.

"I have to go with him." I said

"Do you have to?" Nick asked

"Now Sara." Grissom said

"We'll catch up later." Nick said, kissing my cheek.

I nodded smiling. He let me go to follow Grissom. We got outside when he took my arm leading me up the street. I got into his car as he got in reaching over putting the seat belt over me. He managed to get it on then he looked at me as I stared glassy eyed at him breathing slowly.

"Do you…want to…sleep with me?" I asked

"You're drunk." He said

"I'm not…drunk."

"I think you are." He said "I am taking you home."

He moved back starting the engine as I laid my head back against the head rest looking at him. He parked outside my place looking at me. I had fallen asleep halfway home.

"Sara?" He said, touching my cheek. "Sara, wake up."

I moved my head to the other side sighing. He got out opening my side undoing the seat belt. I woke as he picked me up shutting the door with his foot. Putting my arms around his neck I started kissing him there. He felt his heart start to race as he climbed the stairs faster.

"Sara, where are your keys?"

"I don't know." I said

He lowered me making me let him go so he could search my pockets. He found them then opened the door pulling me inside. He shut the door looking around then at me. I leaned against the door smiling at him.

"Here we are." I said

"You need to sleep this off." He said

I pushed myself off the door stumbling over to him. He caught me steadying me.

"Are you okay?" He asked

"I think so." I said

I put my arms around him again kissing his neck. He closed his eyes opening them again to look over at my bedroom door.

"You need to go to bed." He said

"With you?" I asked, raising my head looking at him.

"No, just you."

He led me into the bedroom. I watched him turn down the bed then he stood looking at me.

"Can you change and get into bed?"

I nodded wavering a bit. He looked me up and down then nodded.

"I'll call you later."

He slowly walked out glancing at me before leaving. I heard the door closing then I walked over to the bed falling onto it sighing.

The next day I laid in bed sick. My cell phone rang multiple times and I winched in pain every time. A pounding at the door made me groan as I moved slowly off the bed feeling dizzy. I walked out to the door holding my head as I opened it winching at the light.

"Good afternoon." A voice said

I blinked seeing the outline of Grissom.

"May I come in?"

I moved out of the way allowing him in. He looked at me as he entered watching as I closed the door.

"I came to check on you."

"Thank's." I said, quietly.

"Why don't you lay down on the couch?"

"Okay." I said

He moved into the kitchen as I collapsed on the couch. He brought some coffee and toast over to me setting it on the coffee table then he sat down on the couch touching my head.

"What happened?" I asked

"You went out with the team and got drunk." He said

"I don't remember." I said, putting my face in my hand.

"You almost went home with Nick."

I moved looking at him.

"Nick?!"

"I brought you home."

"Thank's."

He nodded looking at the hot coffee in the blue mug he set out for me.

"Want some toast?"

I put my hand on my mouth shaking my head as I closed my eyes. His hand smoothed back my hair.

"Want me to leave?"

"No, I want you here." I said, reaching over touching his hand on his leg. "I need you here."

"Good, because I want to be here to."

I moved to my back looking at him.

"Grissom, what I said that day at the diner…I didn't really mean that."

"I know."

"I did have a hangover and I was not thinking straight."

"You have been alone with your thoughts. That can be bad."

I sighed looking at the ceiling as he looked down at our hands joined on his leg.

"Will you stay for a while?" I asked

"If you want." He said

He sat back on the end of the couch reading as I slept. He flipped a page looking over at me from time to time. After I woke feeling more like myself he had made something for dinner. We ate settling down to watch a movie on TV. I moved trying to get comfortable. Grissom looked over at me as I sat up fixing the pillow to lay against. I sighed still not happy.

Grissom moved over behind me putting his arm around me. My heart started to race as he said nothing.

We laid there not moving for a while then I felt his fingers moving my hair off my neck as his lips found their way onto my skin. I closed my eyes as he kissed parts leading to my ear. He moved so he could continue his exploration. I laid still to see where this was going. He stopped to raise his head watching a scene in the movie. I moved to lay down on my back putting my hand up to his neck pulling him down to my lips. He gently took his time moving them against mine. I moaned as he deepened the kiss devouring my mouth as his hand moved along my waist. He moved back breathing heavier looking down at me.

"Sara, I think we should slow down."

I moved my fingers in his hair.

"Please Grissom." I said "I need you."

He shook his head.

"We are moving to fast."

I moved up kissing him. He kissed me back feeling me pulling him down again. He kept his eyes closed as I kissed his neck slowly.

"I…can't do this." He said

"I want to." I said

He sighed moving his lips to my neck. He stopped as he rested his face in my neck. I felt a tingling all over feeling relaxed. He raised his head watching me open my eyes looking at him.

"I want to, Sara….but this is not the right time."

"When will it be the right time?"

"I don't know, but when it happens it will be the perfect moment. Please don't be hurt."

"Will you hold me?"

"Of course." He said, moving behind me holding me as before. I sighed content to be in his arms.

When I woke he was gone. A note telling he had to go to the lab on the coffee table was the only way to tell that this had not been just a dream.

He did not call or come over the rest of the day. I saw him at shift walking to go to a meeting. At break time he walked with Catherine talking about a suspect. When he looked into the break room he saw me standing with my back to the door looking at a magazine on the counter. He came in as Catherine went back to her office. He smiled coming over quietly.

"What are you looking at?" He asked, making me jump.

I turned looking at him.

"Just a forensics journal." I said

He stood observing me.

"I….just found it here."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I said

"Your eyes are red."

"Are they?" I asked, touching them.

"Have you been crying?"

"No." I said

"Why don't you come to my office?"

"I should go back to work."

"Come with me." He said

I followed him to his office. He closed the door walking over putting his papers on the desk then he looked at me.

"Now, what is wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Sara?"

"Honestly nothing." I said

He came over to me touching him arms.

"You have been crying."

I looked to the side.

"I want to know why."

I shook my head looking down. He made me lift my head to look at him.

"I…thought I did something."

"What do you mean?"

"I thought I did something to…..make you not interested anymore."

He shook his head smiling.

"Why would you think that?"

"I don't know….you didn't call or come by yesterday."

"Sara, I am very interested in you, but I had to do things here and when I left it was to late."

"I know." I said

"This is not like you."

I looked down again. He sighed leaning over kissing my head. He pulled me against him as he rubbed my back.

"Honey, there are times that I will be busy and unable to see you, but it does not mean that I do not love you."

"You love me?" I asked, against his shoulder.

"I do."

I slowly moved my arms up around his back.

"I love you very much."

A month later Grissom walked with us down the hallway talking to us giving us orders involving a case we were all on. I kept up at the back listening. Everyone separated as I walked over joining Grissom.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked

"You're my dummy." He said, motioning me with him.

"Dummy?" I asked

"Don't argue." He said, as he entered the large lab room where he had set up a couch and a chair.

"I am not arguing, I just don't understand."

Catherine came in with a plastic knife and Greg came in with the pillow in a bag.

"Sara, sit on the couch." He said

I sighed sitting on the couch.

"Lay down." He said

I moved laying down. He got the knife that Catherine held and came over to me.

"Now, according to the report. Our victim was lying on the couch dozing while a movie played on the TV." Catherine said

"Sara, close your eyes." Grissom said

I closed them listening the noises around me.

"Our suspect got in through window in the next room and came in seeing her on the couch." She continued "Grissom, you better let Greg be the killer."

Grissom looked at Greg handing him the knife.

"Greg climb over Sara." Grissom said

Greg walked over climbing over me.

"Don't hit me, Sara." He said

"Don't tickle me and I won't." I said

"Sara, no talking." Grissom said

I sighed again laying still.

"Put the pillow under her head." Catherine said

Greg put the pillow underneath my head then he put his hand over my mouth placing the knife on my neck.

"Okay….she would have woken and struggled." Grissom said

I opened my eyes pretending to struggle.

"He could have easily cut her throat." Greg said

"Then he drops the knife on the floor takes the pillow and puts it over her face. That way no one would have woken upstairs." Catherine said

Greg took the pillow pushing it against my face. I pushed him off sitting up.

"Owe!" Greg cried

"The only witness is a scared little girl." Catherine said

We all thought about how sad the situation is when it involves a little child.

Grissom led me outside after shift leading me by the arm. He walked me to my car. I turned looking at him as he got his keys out of his pocket.

"Grissom, do you mind if I ask you something?"

"Of course not." He said

"What do you think of tonight being the perfect night?"

He thought about it a moment.

"I don't think we are ready."

"I think we are." I said

"Honey, I know you want to, but I am not ready yet."

"Why?"

He kissed my head then he moved back.

"We can soon I promise."

I nodded watching him walk away.

Grissom sat down on his bed at his house feeling the familiar throbbing of a migraine. He laid back on the bed sighing as he closed his eyes. He cleared his mind relaxing into sleep.

I went home thinking about Grissom. He seemed to be troubled about something. I looked at my phone then I went to bed. I laid in the darkness looking at the window covered with a blind. Moving to my back I thought about him.

Catherine informed him as he came into shift that I would not be in. He walked to his office sitting down at his desk dialing my number.

"Hey Gris." Nick said, coming in.

Grissom put his finger to his lips waiting. He sighed when I did not answer putting the phone down to help Nick.

After shift Grissom drove over to my apartment knocking on my door. He jumped as the door flew open and I stood severely intoxicated wearing pajamas.

"Look…who…it is?" I said

"Are you having a party?" He asked

I shook my head leaning on the door.

He came in hearing the TV and stereo on at the same time.

"What's going on?" He said

"I'm…..hav….having a….party." I said

He watched me try to walk over to him only to fall to the floor laughing.

"Why are you drinking?" He asked

I looked up at him.

"I….just…..wanted to…..cele…celebrate."

He helped me up as I put my arms around his neck. He put his arms on my waist as I put my head on his chest passing out against him.

When I woke up I heard a beeping noise. The room I was in was white. Grissom came in seeing me looking around confused.

"Sara, you're in the hospital." He said

"Why am I here?" I asked

"I brought you because you had alcohol poisoning." He said, taking my hand in his.

"Its good thing he brought you in." A man said

I looked over at the doctor standing on my right.

"Miss. Sidle, you should know better than to drink that much." He said "You're going to be fine now and you can go home tomorrow."

"Thank you." Grissom said

The man nodded leaving us. I looked at Grissom seeing he was upset.

"Why did you do that, Sara?"

When I didn't answer he just turned to look out the window. I looked over at the heart monitor. The next day Grissom brought me home. I let us in closing the door after he entered. I knew what was coming. Instead of a lecture I heard him go into the kitchen and then a thud hit the garbage and then another. I went over seeing he was throwing out bottles of wine from my fridge and cabinets. He stopped when he could not find any more then he looked at me. He got the bag tying it then he went out the door to throw it away in the dumpster.

When he came back in he found me sitting on the floor against the stove. He leaned on to the counter looking down at me.

"Grissom, I don't blame you for being upset with me. I don't know why I am acting like this."

"I am concerned about you. This drinking has to stop now."

"I know, I thought about why I am doing this and the reason is I….." I said, stopping as I looked at him.

"Why?"

"I'm scared, about you."

He cleared his throat kneeling down touching my knee.

"Honey, there is nothing to be scared of. I am here and nothing is going to take me away from you."

"You don't know what will happen tomorrow or a week from now." I said

"Sara, do you trust me?"

I looked at him then at his hand on my knee.

"I do."

"Then trust me when I say nothing will happen."

I was put on a week vacation by Grissom. Boredom was affecting me. When he entered my apartment on that Friday I pounced him at the door as he closed it.

"Hello dear." He said, smiling.

I smiled moving over kissing him. He was helpless against it as he dropped everything he held to put his arms around my back. I moved back undoing his shirt buttons.

"What are you doing?" He asked, amused.

I didn't answer as I took his hand leading him to the couch. He landed back on the couch as I plopped down over top of him. I opened his shirt leaning down kissing his bare chest.

"Sara, not that I mind this, but….I am very hungry."

I moved up along his neck taking my time.

His stomach grumbled as I continued.

"Honey, please let me get up and eat."

I sighed sitting over him looking down.

"If I let you up will you come back?"

"Yes."

I moved letting him get up. He buttoned his shirt looking at me then he walked to the kitchen. I laid back rubbing my head.

He called in takeout then sat down on the couch. I moved over to him, but he stopped me.

"I think I want this to be the night." I said

He looked at me curiously.

"Really?"

"Yes, if you want to."

He thought about it.

"You're hesitating." I said

He sighed taking my hand. I moved standing walking around the coffee table putting my hands on my hips.

"You are never going to do this, are you?" I asked

"Is that what you think?"

I turned looking at him.

"I'm starting to."

"That's not true. I do want to, but as I said I want to know when it's right."

"When, a year from now?"

He stood walking over.

"No Sara, I just…..can't."

I looked at him then I went to the bedroom. He followed seeing I was folding clothes on the bed.

"You said you loved me!" I said

"I do." He said, staring at me.

"Then isn't the next step…making love?" I asked

"Sara, I am an old fashioned kind of person. I know you are a modern thinker, but I like to take things slow and see where they go. I don't believe in jumping into bed."

I stopped folding looking at him.

"I know I should have explained how I am, but I thought we would be okay."

I walked over to him.

"I am okay, I just needed to have some human contact."

He moved closer kissing me. I opened my eyes as he moved back searching them.

"Are we on the same page now?" He asked

"I think so."

He nodded leaving the room. I sat on the bed looking down. Grissom and I ate then we watched a movie. Grissom laid on the couch eventually falling asleep. I looked over at him sleeping at the other end of the couch. He looked so peaceful. His chest went up and down slowly.

I got up putting a blanket over him then I turned the TV off going into the bedroom. When I woke coming out to make coffee he was still sleeping on the couch on his back. I smiled walking into the kitchen. The coffee maker started preparing hot coffee as I got a skillet out to make him a surprise breakfast. Finding eggs and some vegetables with cheese I went to work making him an omelet.

He yawned rubbing his head walking over smelling something good. He stopped seeing me in my pajamas looking adorable with my back to him. He walked over moving my hair kissing my neck making me jump.

"Hello." He said

"I wanted this to be a surprise." I said

"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep." He said, yawning again.

"That's all right." I said

He smiled at me getting two cups for coffee.

I put the food on a plate handing it to him. He ate a bite nodding as I sipped some coffee.

"Mmm, this is really good."

"Thank's." I said, walking out of the kitchen. He followed watching me yawn sitting on a chair next to the couch.

"Are you eating?"

"No, I am going to go for a run." I said

He ate another bite walking back into the kitchen. I went into the bedroom changing. When I came out he was getting his things ready.

"I am going to change and then go do some paperwork at the office." He said

I nodded walking over. He put his hands on my cheeks kissing me.

"I will see you later." He said

"Okay." I said

He let me go then he went out the door leaving me.

I ran for a while coming back hot with a headache. I took a shower walking over lying in bed. Grissom tried calling me, but I was still sleeping. When I woke it was dark out. My phone rang next to me. I reached over taking it.

"Sidle." I said

"Are you all right?!" Grissom asked

"Fine, why do you ask?"

"I have been calling for hours. I was about to come over and check on you."

"I fell asleep." I said, blinking.

He sighed over the phone.

"Are you still at work?"

"No, I am at home."

"What time is it?"

"Two in the morning." He said

I sat up.

"I think I laid down after my run."

"Sara, did you eat anything?"

"Um….I….no." I said, rubbing my head.

"Go and eat something. I am going to bed when I come over I want you to have eaten."

"You got it." I said

"Goodnight." He said

"Bye."

I hung up looking around in the dimly lit room.

The next day there was an emergency at the lab causing Grissom to not be able to come over. I spent the day listening to the police scanner.

That Monday everyone was pulled off their cases and told to go into the conference room to await orders. I sat beside Nick and Greg listening to their chatter as Catherine and Warrick talked about their weekend. Grissom rushed in with two files in his arms. He set them down on the table and looked at us.

"From this moment on you all need to work this case. No one is to work on the previous case. The city commissioner's wife and daughter were found bound and murdered in a trunk of a car stolen last night. They were raped and beaten to death."

Everyone sighed looking down.

"Catherine, I need you to go to the commissioner's home with me and look around. Nick I want you and Greg to go over that car in the garage. Warrick I need you to look at the evidence found in the lab." He said, looking at us. "Sara, I need to talk to you in my office."

I nodded getting up as the others stood. Catherine talked to Grissom in a quiet voice then he said something to her. She nodded walking out behind the guys. Grissom took his files walking out as I followed. We reached his office and he closed the door walking over putting his files on the desk. He sighed turning to me.

"Sara, I got a call from your brother. He said he could not reach you."

"My brother?" I asked

"Yes, he told me that your mother has died."

I swallowed looking at him.

"I'm sorry." He said

"Do you want me to help Warrick?" I asked

He looked at me concerned.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I just need to work."

"You can come with Catherine and me."

"Okay." I said, leaving quickly.

Catherine took the front seat as I got into the back. I looked outside thinking about my mother. She and I were not close, but what happened all those years ago hit me again and again. We got out at the house and Grissom blocked my path.

"Honey, are you sure you are all right?"

"I'm fine." I said, walking past him.

I took the garage searching for clues. Grissom walked over to where I leaning against the Tahoe hours later.

"Find anything?" He asked

"Bleach mostly." I said

He nodded looking up at the house waiting for Catherine. He turned looking at me again.

"Sara, if you need to leave and plan your mother's fu….."

"No, I don't need to." I said, interrupting him.

Catherine walked over and we all got into the Tahoe.

After a double shift I walked out of the building alone. My phone went off and I answered.

"Sidle."

"Hey Sara, its Dave." My brother said

"Oh….hi." I said

"Did your boss tell you about mom?"

"Yeah."

"She asked for you."

"Oh, well I didn't know." I said, looking over seeing Grissom coming out.

"I left you messages. I guess you were to busy."

"Yeah, I was."

Grissom slowly came over.

"Well look, I am having the funeral next Saturday in San Francisco."

"Okay, I might not be able to come."

He sighed.

"You should come, Sara. She may have not been the best mother, but she did love us."

"Dave, I can't do this." I said, rubbing my head.

"Fine, come if you want." He said, hanging up.

I sighed again looking at my phone then I looked over at Grissom. He walked over touching my arm.

"That was my brother." I said "The funeral is next Saturday."

"Are you going?"

I shook my head looking down.

"I think you should." He said

"No, I saw her enough when I was little." I said, walking away.

I went home knowing he had followed me. He walked up the stairs to my front door. I unlocked it standing still as the door opened. Grissom looked at my profile.

"She killed my dad. How do you forgive someone after that?"

"I don't know." He said

"If I go, it's like I am saying I forgive you for killing my dad." I said "She killed him when I was ten. I watched them take her away. She was screaming my name as they dragged her away covered in blood."

He reached over touching my hand.

"My dad was lying on the couch with…..blood and…" I said, stopping as I closed my eyes. "It was horrible."

"Honey?"

I opened my eyes looking at him. He pulled me gently to him. I put my head on his shoulder.

"Have you talked to someone about this before?" He asked

"I did talk to a counselor when I was young, but after that I haven't."

"We can talk about it if you want."

"No, I don't want to."

"Okay."

Grissom held me in bed smoothing my hair as he looked around thinking. When I woke he was still there beside me sleeping. I moved to my side reaching over touching his cheek. He moved moaning gently opening his sleepy eyes looking at me.

"Hey." He said

"Hey."

He took my hand in his kissing it.

"How long have you been up?" He asked

"Not long."

He kept a hold of my hand as he closed his eyes. I moved closer watching his eyes open as he looked at me. His hand went to my hair.

"I love you, Sara."

I smiled faintly watching him come closer kissing me. I kissed him feeling him move over closer to me. I could feel a change in the way he kissed me. It had feeling in it. His hand went down my waist to my leg as he moved his mouth over mine.

His body came over mine and I knew this was it. He wanted to show his love for me. I kept my eyes closed as he moved his lips over my body. Our breathing became heated he never stopped his exploration. When our bodies joined it was a whole new bond. He stopped being my boss and friend becoming the person I loved.

He stopped moving collapsing over me breathing fast. I felt tears coming down my cheeks as I put my arms around his warm back.

We never spoke as words were not needed at that moment. His warm breath tickled my skin. He moved off me lying on his back looking up at the ceiling. I looked at him watching as he touched his chest with his hand.

"Are you….all right?" I asked

He looked at me.

"I…will be." He said

I wiped my cheeks as he moved looking down at me in concern.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine."

He touched my cheek leaning down kissing me then he moved back smoothing my hair. We slept until his alarm on his wrist watch went off. I moved as he turned it off looking at me as I moved towards him.

"Mmm not yet." I said

"I wish we could lay here for hours, but we have a big case."

I grumbled sitting up only half awake. He smiled a little touching my back. I turned looking down at him.

"Your skin is soft." He said

"Lotion." I said

"Hmm."

I touched his chest with my hand.

"Well, we did it."

"Mmmhmm." He said, smiling.

"What did you think?" I asked

"I think it was extordinary."

I laughed shaking my head.

"I wasn't expecting that."

"What were you expecting?"

"I don't know….it was okay. That sort of thing."

"I would never describe it as okay. I knew there would be no other words to describe it, but what I said."

I chuckled shaking my head getting out of bed holding the sheet around my body. Grissom watched me walk to the bathroom then he looked up.


	4. Chapter 4

A month later I coughed feeling worse by the hour. Shift started and I thought I could work through the way I felt, but I was soon proved wrong. I coughed again feeling the headache I had throb. The break room couch seemed more and more alluring. I went in laying down during my break closing my eyes not caring who came in.

Catherine threw Greg an apple as she came in to get her drink from the fridge. He laughed taking a bite when he looked over seeing me.

"Hey Sara." He said

Catherine walked over looking at me.

"She's sleeping." Catherine said, quietly. "Grissom said she seemed under the weather."

Greg walked over putting his hand on my head.

"She's warm."

"Let's leave her alone." She said

Greg nodded walking out quietly with her. I moved my head onto the couch pillow as they left.

Grissom walked out of his office with some papers when Catherine and Greg walked over.

"I found Sara." She said

"Oh, good." Grissom said

"You are right she is under the weather."

Grissom looked at her.

"She has a fever. We found her laying down on the couch in the break room." Greg said

"Okay, I'll go talk to her."

They walked away as Grissom made his way into the break room. He spotted me walking over to the couch. He could tell I had a fever by the redness in my face.

He leaned over touching my knee shaking it in hopes that I would wake up. I moved winching as my head went to a new level of pain.

"Sara?" Grissom said

I opened my eyes looking at him.

"Honey, why don't you go home?"

I sat up holding my head.

"You can't do anything here when you're sick."

"Do you have any aspirin?"

"In my desk." He said

I grabbed hold of the couch arm standing almost falling back, but Grissom caught my arm standing me up. I walked past him out the door to his office. He watched me go frowning.

I took some aspirin then went back to work. My headache eased up a bit and I was able to concentrate. Catherine came in to the room I was working walking over without a word touching my head.

"Wow, you are on fire!" She said

I put my hand on my head then I coughed.

"I hardly feel it." I said

"Sara, Grissom told you to go home."

"I know, I just wanted to work." I said

She sighed knowing arguing was not going to make a difference. Half an hour later I walked down the hallway falling to the floor. I tried to get up, but gravity pushed me down.

"Sara, are you all right?!" Judy, the front desk receptionist asked.

She knelt down touching my neck.

"April, call Gil Grissom!" She shouted

She moved my hair from my face feeling the heat radiating off my skin. Grissom ran down the hallway with Brass following behind.

"What happened?!" Grissom asked, kneeling down on my right side.

"I don't know. She just fell over!" Judy said "Is she all right?!"

Grissom turned me over lifting me up against him. He touched my head then looked at Judy.

"Judy, will you get a glass of water and a cloth?"

"Yes!"

Brass knelt down where Judy had been.

"Should we call an ambulance?!" He asked

"No, I can take her home." Grissom said, tenderly touching my cheek and head. Brass watched with interest watching his friend display feelings. Judy ran over with a cup of water and a cloth. Grissom put the cloth in the water then he ran it over my cheek and forehead getting a response out of me. I moved opening my eyes seeing him.

"Sara, I am taking you home." He said

I slowly nodded closing my eyes putting my head against his chest. Judy took the cloth back as he picked me up without a word. He walked out to his car unlocking it he deposited me inside. I moved coughing as he talked to Brass outside then he came in looking at me.

"I'm taking you to my place."

I nodded closing my eyes. He sighed starting the engine driving back to his house. I woke later wrapped in a blanket on his couch. He walked over sitting down touching my head.

"Where am I?" I asked

"My place." He said, lifting a glass of water. I took two pills he gave me then I drank water. "How do you feel?"

"Like….I was run over." I said, touching my head.

He nodded understanding. I closed my eyes feeling his lips touch my head.

"You'll get sick." I said

"I don't care." He said

He watched me go to sleep then he went to work at his desk. The TV was on when I woke again seeing a police car chasing another car along a dirt road. The smell of food caught my attention. Grissom came in carrying a bowl sitting on the coffee table he set the bowl down beside him.

"Glad to see you're awake. I have some soup for you."

"You made it?" I asked

"It's an old recipe that my mom used to make when I was sick. I was usually cured by the next day." He said, helping me sit up. He lifted the bowl taking a large spoon out with brown broth on it. I looked at him as he fed me. The broth went down my throat making it feel better.

When he finished I laid back down looking at the TV. He came back sitting down at the end of the couch touching my blanket covered foot. I moved leaning up on my arms looking at him. He looked at me.

"What's wrong?" He asked

I slowly moved over to him putting my head against his chest.

"You are taking such good care of me." I said

"I just want you back at work." He said, kissing my head.

I coughed laying my head back down feeling sleepy. Grissom held me against him as I slept.

He moved the next day not seeing me beside him on the couch.

"Sara?" He called, leaning up on his arms. "Sara, where are you?"

I walked over looking at him dressed.

"Hey." I said

"Hey." He said, getting up walking over touching my head. "No fever."

"Your soup did it again." I said

"I guess so."

"Can you take me home?"

"Okay."

He bathed and dressed for work taking me home to do the same. He watched me dress as he sat on the bed. I walked over to him as he touched my waist with his hands. He pulled me closer placing his head against my stomach. I smiled touching my curled hair.

"What's wrong?" I asked

"I was just thinking how silly it is living like this." He said

"What do you mean?"

He lifted his head looking up at me.

"I mean that you live here and I live where I live. I don't know how you feel, but I would like to see us get a house together."

"Really?!"

He nodded lifting my shirt kissing my stomach making me shiver. I ran my hand through his hair sighing.

"Grissom, I think I would like that."

He stood searching my eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, but why don't we live at your place?"

"You don't want to get a new house?"

"No, I just want to be with you."

He kissed me then hugged me.

A week later I came to work tired because I was to excited to sleep getting boxes for my up and coming move to Grissom's. It was a big step, but I was happy about it.

After drinking my weight in coffee I went to the garage to work. I was knee deep in tire tread when Ecklie came in walking over to me.

"Hello Ecklie." I said, putting some tread in a box.

"Ah Sara, I need to talk to you in my office."

I turned looking up at him.

"What is this about?"

"I don't want to discuss it here."

I watched him leave without another word. I cleaned up my mess walking to his office. He said come in as I knocked going in.

"Close the door." He said

I closed it sitting in a chair.

He got out some file opening it in front of him then he looked at me.

"Sara, I asked you in here because I have been informed that you and supervisor Grissom have become involved with one another."

"What?" I said

"Is this true?"

I swallowed not able to register this. He eyed me patiently.

"No, it is not true!" I said

He got his pen out writing my response down.

"Sara, I should tell you that lying to me will not help. If an investigation is done you and Grissom will lose your jobs."

I stood nodding then I walked out. I leaned against the door thinking about Grissom losing his job.

Grissom stood at his desk looking at a letter when I rushed in slamming the door. He looked at me seeing I looked terrified.

"Sara, what's wrong?!" He asked, facing me.

I walked over shaking as he looked at me in concern touching my arm.

"You can tell me."

"Grissom?"

"Yes?" He said

I looked down shaking my head.

"Sara, what is it?"

"Grissom, something….has happened and….we need to stop seeing each other."

I looked at him in pain as he opened his mouth closing it as he looked at me.

"Now." I said

"What are you talking about?"

"I am breaking up with you."

He watched me walk back to the door.

"Sara!"

I heard him walk over looking at my back.

"Something is going on and you're not telling me."

"Nothing is going on. I just don't want to be with you anymore." I said

He touched my arm turning me around seeing tears coming down my cheeks.

"It's over." I said

His phone started to ring and he let me go to grab it.

"Grissom." He said, looking at me.

Someone talked to him and he looked down.

"I'll be right there." He said, lowering the phone looking at me. "Ecklie wants to see me."

"You better go."

"No, not until we talk." He said

"I don't want to talk to you! I want to be left alone!" I said, opening the door running out.

Grissom came out in the hallway watching me run away. He didn't know what was going on, but he had a feeling as if it had something to do with Ecklie.

Grissom tried to call me after I went home, but I would not answer. The doorbell went off and I got up from the couch answering the door seeing Grissom. He pushed his way in and I shut the door leaning against it looking down.

"Ecklie has informed me that an investigation is happening." He said, looking at me. "You knew about that, didn't you?"

I nodded slowly.

"Sara, it doesn't matter." He said, coming over to me. "None of it matters. If I do lose my job I can lecture."

I walked past him to the kitchen counter. He walked over waiting for me to talk.

"I don't want to be with you anymore." I said

"Sara, I love you. You can't let Ecklie scare you." He said

I turned looking at him.

"Do you love me?" He asked

I felt tears come down my cheeks as I stared at him.

"No." I said

He came closer to me touching my cheek. I closed my eyes then opened them looking into his.

"You do love me." He said

"I can't let them fire you. That's why I have decided to stop seeing you."

"No, we can work this out." He said

"It's over." I said

He shook his head moving closer kissing me. I kissed him back with every ounce of strength I had. He moved back looking at me. I pushed him back walking to the door opening it.

"Goodbye." I said

He stood there then he walked over looking at me. I looked down as he walked out without another word. I shut the door crying against it as he stood feeling the loss already.

The investigation opened the next week and closed with us on probation. There were times that Grissom looked at me a minute to long as we crossed paths in the hallway, but I never saw him alone.

Catherine walked with Grissom to his office a week later talking about a case. She had noticed he seemed troubled about something lately.

He put his papers on his desk sitting down relaxing for a minute.

"Gil, can we talk about something?" She asked, sitting down in a chair in front of his desk.

"What about?"

"Look, I don't want to be nosy, but you seem…subdued. Is this about Sara?"

He sighed rubbing his head.

"She won't talk to me."

"Obviously she's trying to protect you." She said "I'm sorry this happened."

"Me to." He said "I know she still cares."

"Leave it alone, Gil. Ecklie may not be doing an investigation now, but he still could open it up again."

Grissom walked out to leave after shift when he saw me talking to a cop outside. He watched as I laughed and the man laughed. I glanced over seeing him then I talked again to the handsome cop.

"So would you like to come have a drink with me?" He asked

"Um sure."

"Great, wait ten minutes and I'll meet you out here." He said, before walking back to the building. Grissom nodded at him as he walked past him. I looked at Grissom then I walked over to my car. Grissom walked over looking at me.

"Hello Sara." He said

I closed my eyes feeling the pain in my heart. I took a breath turning to look at him.

"Hello."

"How are things?"

"Good." I said "You?"

"Great." He said

I nodded.

"Going out?"

"Yes." I said

He looked back at the building then back at me.

"I miss you."

A twinge inside made me winch as I looked down.

"Thank you." I said

He stepped closer as I raised my hands to stop him.

"Please…..stay away!"

"Sara."

I looked at him.

"I am not going to hurt you."

"I can't move on if you keep doing this." I said

"Move on? Sara, I don't want to move on. I still love you."

I put my hand to my mouth sniffing. The cop came out that I was going out with seeing us.

"Everything all right?"

I nodded crying as Grissom looked at me. The cop looked at Grissom as he turned walking away. I watched him leave broken hearted.

Grissom stirred some sugar into some a cup of tea as he stood at his kitchen counter. He thought about me as he slowly moved his spoon around the steaming liquid. He looked down at it when a pounding on his door distracted him. He walked over opening it seeing me dripping wet shaking with a cut on my head.

"Can….I come in?" I asked, holding myself.

"Yes." He said

I slowly walked in as he shut the door looking at me up and down.

"Are you all right?"

I nodded looking down. He came closer lifting my head looking at the cut.

"When did this happen?"

"I…was attacked."

"Attacked! By who?!"

"I…don't know."

He sighed getting his cell phone dialing.

"Jim, its Grissom. Sara just showed up with a cut on her head. She said she was attacked, but does not know by who."

I slowly walked into his living room while he talked. He hung up walking in looking at me then he went to his bedroom getting a large towel wrapping it around me.

"Now, tell me what happened." He said

I felt his hands go up and down my arms.

"I…was walking….to my car…and it happened."

"Someone attacked you."

I nodded. He looked at my cut again.

"I'll get some bandages."

He left me again and I sat down in a chair. He came back kneeling down getting some peroxide dabbing my head.

"Where was the cop that you went out with?"

I shook more avoiding his stare.

"Sara, did he attack you?"

"Can…I take a bath?"

"Not until you tell me the truth."

I stood trying to avoid him. He stood watching me shake as I walked over to the wall. The doorbell went off making me back up looking at the door.

"Whose that?!" I asked

"Brass." He said, walking to the door. I watched him answer the door letting Brass in. They stood talking as I went to the couch laying down. Brass walked in seeing me as Grissom stayed back.

"Hey Sara."

I watched him come over sitting on the coffee table.

"What's going on?"

"I was…attacked." I said

"Grissom told me. Who attacked you?"

I rolled over not facing him. He looked over at Grissom then at me.

"Sara, you can't avoid this."

"I don't want to talk about it." I said

"You need to tell me."

I slowly moved my hand showing him I had a piece of a shirt badge. He took it looking at it.

"Did you rip it off him?"

I nodded.

"We…went for a drink….at the Stinger Club. I decided to leave….and he attacked me."

"He attacked you on the street?" Grissom asked

"No, he pulled me into the small alleyway between the….buildings and attacked me. I got away."

"Who was it?" Brass asked

"Officer Stevens." I said

Brass got up looking at me then he motioned for Grissom to follow. The door closed and Grissom came back in.

"You need some warm clothes."

I sat up watching him move around. He came back with some sweats and a shirt for me. I stood walking over slowly taking them.

"Thank you."

"You can take that bath now."

"Okay."

He watched me walk past him to the bedroom then I stopped turning to look at him.

"Something wrong?" He asked, walking over.

I dropped the clothes on the floor moving closer to him. He stayed still breathing slowly as I leaned in kissing him. He kissed me hearing the rain pick up outside. He slid his hand to my back pushing me against him. All I wanted to do was fall against him. He moved back searching my eyes.

"Can…you help me take my clothes off?" I asked

"Yes."

He helped me into the bedroom forgetting the clothes on the floor. I moved in his bed waking as a loud clap of thunder crashed down outside. It was still dim outside and the breeze coming from the opened window was cool. I moved over to my side feeling the bandage that Grissom put over my cut earlier. He lay on his back breathing deeply. I looked at his bare chest half covered by a blanket rise and fall. He seemed at peace. I thought about my evening thinking about what had happened. Closing my eyes I remembered the cold angry eyes of Stevens and how he pushed me causing me to fall. A shiver went through my body. Grissom moved to his side not facing me. I moved closer putting my head against his back listening to his heartbeat.

He was dressed when I woke standing by the wall looking at me. I smiled faintly at him laying my head against his pillow.

"How long have you been up?" I asked

"A little while. I just wanted to look at you." He said, coming over sitting on the bed. I rolled over to my back. "Sara, I want us to be together."

"How?"

"I have been thinking and I think you should move to day shift."

I sat up holding the blanket against my chest.

"Day shift?"

"Honey, I don't want you to, but Ecklie cannot do anything if you move to day shift. He can't touch us."

"I'll never see you."

"We will."

I sighed looking down then I looked at him nodding. He kissed me then got up as his cell phone rang.

I laid back down on the bed looking at the celling.

"Day shift." I said


End file.
